Going the distance
For those of you that don’t know much about my relationship with Devin because I haven’t spoken about it on my blog yet, we spend about 2 months apart every year. Let me rewind and give you some background information.
Back in 2012 when Devin and I first started dating in May, I was already modeling and was sent to London and Milan the following summer. I was in London for about 3 months and went to Milan for 1 month for work. We were apart for our one year anniversary and I knew that me being away from home for so long during our first year would be a test on our relationship and it would make it or break it.
Luckily, we made it and it made us stronger as a unit and we learned a lot about each other along the way. Ever since then, I spent my summers away from home. I was still attending college and couldn’t pick up and leave whenever I needed to for work, so my summers were the only time I had to fully commit to my job. This time, I would be in NYC or LA instead of abroad in Europe. This definitely helped because there wasn’t a 5 hour time difference and it was easier for us to visit each other. I wouldn’t say it gets easier, but it gets easier in the sense that you both know how to handle it.
I decided to incorporate both his and her tips on how we make a temporarily long distance relationship work and how we think you can too based off of our experience:
- Communicate: As cliche as it sounds, communication is key in any relationship or any aspect of life. Whether it is sending a text throughout the day, or communicating how you are feeling, it helps the other person better understand you and ensures you are both on the same page. It also helps to communicate what you expect out of a relationship, rather than assuming the other person knows.
- Trust: Luckily for Devin and I, we aren’t long distance often. It is only for two months out of the year, but being able to trust each other makes it easier to be away from home. When you commit to a long distance relationship, you are trusting that the person you are committed to is also committed to you.
- Make time: It is easy for us as humans to get caught up in our day and what we are doing, but it is super important to make time for your significant other. Whether it is a text checking in, saying hello, or face timing to catch up, setting aside the time makes each other feel important and prioritized. When I first went to Europe during our first year together, we would spend the night together on Skype. I was always 5 hours ahead of him, so I’d fall asleep on Skype and he’d be there when I woke up. We’d also watch movies together on Skype and just kept in contact all day as if I were still at home. If it’s important enough to you, you will make the time.
- Break up the trip: Something Devin and I do when we are apart is make sure to break up the trip. We figure if I am gone for two months, after the first month, he’ll come out to wherever I am and stay for a week or so and then when he leaves we only have two weeks left apart. It may not seem like much, but for us it lessens the blow. We don’t like to go more than a month without seeing each other, it’s our cardinal rule.
- Know that it is temporary: In the grand scheme of things, know that long distance is just temporary. For us, it’s only 2 months out of the year, for others it can be until your relationship goes to the next level or your situation changes, but know there is a light at the end of the tunnel as long as mutual effort is being made.
- Communicate: Talk as if you will see her tomorrow, ask questions about her day so she knows even though you can’t see her, you’re interested in what she is doing.
- Break up the trip: Break up the time apart into sections so it doesn’t feel as long apart.
- Focus on yourself: Take the time apart to do things that you have been putting off like working out, hobbies, or setting new goals, because love can be a distraction (a good distraction).
- Make her feel included in your day-to-day: Take pictures and send them to her whenever you are doing something so she feels included in your day-to-day.
- Distance makes the heart grow fonder: The anticipation to see her will build up and it’s like the first time you saw her all over again.
I hope these tips and different point of views are beneficial to you if you are in a long distance relationship, or just experiencing some temporary time apart.
Let me know in the comments some of your tips on making it work as well!